In my second draft, I decided against Kyle being a part of the doctor's scene, instead I just had him sat next to John. However, I reconsidered this decisions as having Kyle participate in this scene would make for a much more interesting scene.
In this scene Kyle tells the doctor about some of John's symptoms. (Although, as Kyle exists only in John's head, the doctor wouldn't be able to hear this). I therefore thought John's list of symptoms was a very important prop in this scene. He still hands the doctor a list of what he is experiencing, therefore enabling the doctor to make a diagnosis.
Kyle telling the doctor some of the symptoms helps to show how Kyle overpowers John and takes control over him. This helps to make the reveal that Kyle is a hallucination much more dramatic. It also makes the audience realise why Kyle behaves the way he does throughout the drama.
The idea of the reveal occurring when the doctor turns away then turns back to just John sitting there alone was actually Steve's idea. I really liked this idea as the audience really wouldn't expect the reveal to happen in this way, making this a memorable moment:
Adapting this scene has made me like my screenplay a lot more, however, with these additions the screenplay now comes to 12 pages. I now need to go about cutting some of the scenes down in order for the screenplay to fit into 10 pages.
No comments:
Post a Comment