This is the first rough cut of my footage. I decided to get it checked despite knowing I still needed to edit my sound, change the order of a few clips and stabilise some of the footage.
I got quite a positive response from both Simon and Mike.
Simon's Feedback:
- Adjust the audio levels.
- Add a shot of John inside the house when Kyle knocks on the door. This shows that John is deliberately ignoring him (otherwise the audience may assume John was not at home).
I raised a couple of doubts I had with Simon such as the overlapped footage. I was worried that it may look a little messy, however Simon thought it worked. Therefore, I decided to leave it in but change it slightly as it obviously produced my intended effect of showing John's state of confusion.
Mike's Feedback:
- Fill the long black screen between the camera rising up above the laptop and John talking on the phone.
- Make the ringtone quieter to match the rest of the audio.
- At the end, to someone who doesn't know the story, it doesn't look like John is going to jump. Add a clip that tells them that he is going to jump.
- When Kyle says "John, don't" - have him say "John" from the first angle (behind the 2 actors), and don't when the camera is facing both actors.
Here's my 1st rough cut:
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